Babies come with hats.
Lots of hats. And about a half-dozen blankets, a week’s worth of diapers, some wipes, concierge service, free food, a masseuse, formula, paparazzi, lots of miscellaneous baby-related swag, an emcee, and (much later) a really big bill. We had good insurance, so we were also provided a hype man during the delivery.
Naturally I was pretty nervous going into this thing. I pictured the labor and delivery wing to be a grim place – akin to a civil war combat medic tent. Blood everywhere. Screaming. At best, I figured that they would deliver the kid, hand him over, and say “here, you’re probably going to want to hose him off.” So, what actually happened was a pleasant surprise. Women, for about 48 hours on either side of delivery, have it pretty good. You know, aside from the violent expulsion of a live human person. The staff did an excellent job, which is to say they (1) listened to Jenn talk, and (2) laughed at her jokes. Kudos.
Jenn was a
model patient comedian the entire time. Right up to and, yes, during the delivery. She was the opening act for Finn’s birth. She opened for her baby. Who does that?